When it comes to step families, Christmas traditions can be complex minefields to negotiate. Here’s what I did, what they did, and now what we all do.
MY family’s Santa tradition:
When I was young, Santa would leave a pillowcase filled with gifts at the foot of my bed. I don’t remember the age when I sprung Santa, but the deal was that once the game was over, the sack no longer appeared. I wasn’t traumatised by this (not that I can recall!); it was simply the tradition of our family.
When I became a mother, this Christmas tradition was then passed on to my daughter. As she moved from toddler-hood to primary school-hood, the Christmas catch cry was “Once you no longer believe in Santa, he doesn’t leave presents anymore”. Much to my delight, Santa remained elusive and magical to her until she was ten years old. From then on she shared in the magic as spectator to her younger brothers’ Santa glee, and as fellow Santa-conspirator with me.
THEIR family’s Santa tradition:
When I met my husband, who came with a brood of six, their Santa came with no ‘expiry date’. Santa would generously leave all six of them a Santa Sack filled to the brim with knickknacks, useful stuff and fun stuff, no matter what their age. The eldest of my stepchildren back then was fifteen, and she was, by far, the most excitable when it came to Christmas: the first to count ‘how many sleeps till Santa comes’, the first to wake up Christmas morning, and the first to squeal at the sight of a full Santa sack.
What to do? Deny my stepchildren their tradition, or reinstate Santa to my daughter, who by then was sixteen?
The latter, of course! (Her Christmases had, quite literally, all come at once.)
OUR family’s Santa tradition:
Back then, adopting their Christmas tradition seemed like a good idea, but as the kids got older we had to make a few modifications.
When they were all younger we could get away with lots of cheap Santa sack fillers (such as socks, undies, silly stuff) and a few bonuses that wouldn’t break the bank. When the youngest child admitted to Cracking the Santa Code, we had to rethink the budget and the time spent coming up with more useful, rather than useless, gifts from Santa. So the first change we made a few years ago was to downsize: from sacks to stockings.
But still, filling nine stockings (they’re not much smaller than a sack, really) was still a challenge, time-wise and money-wise.
As Christmas approached this year, we realised that the kids may not be getting too old for this, but we were! So this year, as our youngest boys turn fourteen, it is time once again for a change.
Without taking away the fun and chaos of Christmas, here’s what we came up with:
Each child (young and old) has received
1. A note from Santa asking for their help to fill a stocking for _ _ _
2. The recipient’s Christmas stocking
3. Some cash for them to buy the goodies to fill the stocking.
They all thought it was a great idea, and as I write this, shops are being scoured for bargains and stockings are being filled.
My stepdaughter, who is now 23 years old, is still the most animated and excited around Christmastime. Her joie de vivre reminds me why Santa still visits our house, no matter what the age of our children.
I’m excited, too. I can’t wait to see what ‘Santa’ has brought everyone. Maybe he’ll even re-visit me one day? Now there’s a change to tradition I could embrace!
